Divorce Coaching for the Breakthrough of Your Life
Create your best life ever
on the other side of the split
(even if that seems impossible right now)
Divorce scrambles your emotions and throws your future into question; maybe your identity, too.
Early on, all you may know for sure is that you don't want to end up bitter, angry, and alone. And you don't have to.
If you know where to look, you'll find that the turmoil has exposed the strongest, wisest, and healthiest parts of you. Your bedrock.
Let's build a path forward on that, and it'll take you far beyond avoiding the worst outcomes.
You'll claim a life more invigorating, meaningful, and joyful than anything you dared imagine before.
Divorce Coaching for the Breakthrough of Your Life
Create your best life ever
on the other side of the split
(even if that seems impossible right now)
Divorce scrambles your emotions and throws your future into question; maybe your identity, too.
Early on, all you may know for sure is that you don't want to end up bitter, angry, and alone. And you don't have to.
If you know where to look, you'll find that the turmoil has exposed the strongest, wisest, and healthiest parts of you. Your bedrock.
Let's build a path forward on that, and it'll take you far beyond avoiding the worst outcomes.
You'll claim a life more invigorating, meaningful, and joyful than anything you dared imagine before.
You're Covered,
Every Step of the Way
Most divorced people don't make it through all of these stages. Many get stuck in survival mode without even realizing it. What's the reward for moving through the process consciously and intentionally? Possibilities that expand in all directions with each step.
SURVIVAL
Fear and uncertainty abound. Shame, anger, and even hope and excitement appear, too. The emotional rollercoaster leaves you feeling exhausted and out of control.
WHAT WE'LL DO:
Get your thoughts and emotions back on solid ground
-
Depower your worries
The latest mind-body techniques will help you come to rest naturally in feelings of ease and calm.
-
Cover your downside
Let's identify what worries are worth worrying about, and build a strategy for handling them wisely.
-
Build your confidence
As you begin to master this difficult period, you'll start to believe you can do anything. Which you can.
RECOVERY
Important questions arise: Freed from this broken relationship, what shape might I take? What else is constraining me? The future holds great promise for those who can find the answers.
WHAT WE'LL DO:
Reassess your path, and yourself, with fresh eyes
-
Rescue parts of you
Our three-hour Core Self Interview™ reveals the values, needs, and strengths you've been neglecting.
-
Illuminate your blind spots
Internal conflicts and faulty beliefs keep you stuck repeating history. Let's light them up with new insight.
-
Let your inner expert lead
Your Core Self Blueprint™ translates what we've learned of your best self into a roadmap to your best life.
THRIVING
You're primed for the journey of a lifetime. If you can avoid derailing, and keep your inner expert in charge, you'll find a beautiful new world forming itself naturally around your new shape.
WHAT WE'LL DO:
Take your new life for a spin,
and see where it takes you
-
Take steps (or giant leaps)
We'll plan each week's and month's action steps together, so you'll never stagnate or feel unsupported.
-
Keep science on your side
You'll achieve your new goals and have fun doing it, using ripped-from-the-journals motivation secrets.
-
Sustain your gains
Ongoing guidance and training means your breakthrough will last a lifetime.
You're Covered,
Every Step of the Way
Most divorced people don't make it through all of these stages. Many get stuck in survival mode without even realizing it. What's the reward for moving through the process consciously and intentionally? Possibilities that expand in all directions with each step.
SURVIVAL
Fear and uncertainty abound. Shame, anger, and even hope and excitement appear, too. The emotional rollercoaster leaves you feeling exhausted and out of control.
WHAT WE'LL DO:
Get your thoughts and emotions back on solid ground
-
Depower your worries
The latest mind-body techniques will help you come to rest naturally in feelings of ease and calm.
-
Cover your downside
Let's identify what worries are worth worrying about, and build a strategy for handling them wisely.
-
Build your confidence
As you begin to master this difficult period, you'll start to believe you can do anything. Which you can.
RECOVERY
Important questions arise: Freed from this broken relationship, what shape might I take? What else is constraining me? The future holds great promise for those who can find the answers.
WHAT WE'LL DO:
Reassess your path, and yourself, with fresh eyes
-
Rescue parts of you
Our three-hour Core Self Interview™ reveals the values, needs, and strengths you've been neglecting.
-
Illuminate your blind spots
Internal conflicts and faulty beliefs keep you stuck repeating history. Let's light them up with new insight.
-
Let your inner expert lead
Your Core Self Blueprint™ translates what we've learned of your best self into a roadmap to your best life.
THRIVING
You're primed for the journey of a lifetime. If you can avoid derailing, and keep your inner expert in charge, you'll find a beautiful new world forming itself naturally around your new shape.
WHAT WE'LL DO:
Take your new life for a spin,
and see where it takes you
-
Take steps (or giant leaps)
We'll plan each week's and month's action steps together, so you'll never stagnate or feel unsupported.
-
Keep science on your side
You'll achieve your new goals and have fun doing it, using ripped-from-the-journals motivation secrets.
-
Sustain your gains
Ongoing guidance and training means your breakthrough will last a lifetime.
What's Really Possible for You?
A bright new future can sound like an impossible dream, or even overwhelming, if you're struggling with worries that seem all too real. Don't worry—we'll address these issues that may concern you most right now.
IDENTITY
Marriage is a joining, so separation can leave you feeling raw and incomplete, and facing an identity crisis. Just like a stormy sea, though, it's calm underneath. Always has been.
I'm an expert in reconnecting you with the core values, needs, and strengths that long predated your marriage, and hold the keys to your most authentic life.
SELF-WORTH
It wouldn't be unusual for feelings of guilt or shame to arise during the divorce process. And sure, we'll see if you could have done something better, so you can grow.
But we'll also unwind the beliefs that don't serve you, and amplify the goodness within you that you're missing. Self-compassion is the name of the game here.
RELATIONSHIPS
You may worry about your relationship with the kids, how to talk to people about your divorce, or whether you'll be able to—or will want to—let someone in to your heart again.
Whatever your questions are, we'll find the answers, and build the skills and strategies for healthy, effective communication and boundaries with everyone you choose to have in your life.
What's Really Possible for You?
A bright new future can sound like an impossible dream, or even overwhelming, if you're struggling with worries that seem all too real. Don't worry—we'll address these issues that may concern you most right now.
IDENTITY
Marriage is a joining, so separation can leave you feeling raw and incomplete, and facing an identity crisis. Just like a stormy sea, though, it's calm underneath. Always has been.
I'm an expert in reconnecting you with the core values, needs, and strengths that long predated your marriage, and hold the keys to your most authentic life.
SELF-WORTH
It wouldn't be unusual for feelings of guilt or shame to arise during the divorce process. And sure, we'll see if you could have done something better, so you can grow.
But we'll also unwind the beliefs that don't serve you, and amplify the goodness within you that you're missing. Self-compassion is the name of the game here.
RELATIONSHIPS
You may worry about your relationship with the kids, how to talk to people about your divorce, or whether you'll be able to—or will want to—let someone in to your heart again.
Whatever your questions are, we'll find the answers, and build the skills and strategies for healthy, effective communication and boundaries with everyone you choose to have in your life.
FEATURED BY:
Featured by:
What's Divorce Coaching Like?
You're not here to have an off-the-rack life. So, I give you an elite coaching program, with each step fitted to you exactly, and you get one-of-a-kind results.
-
Solid and Proven
You can't bet your post-divorce life on wishful thinking. Whether you're facing down fear in the Survival stage, rediscovering yourself in Recovery, or hopping out of bed each morning to Thrive, you'll be making your own luck with our rational approach.
-
Flexible and Customized
Your primitive survival-based instincts are powerful, and natural. But in order to thrive, you'll need to take into account a very different set of needs, and take a different set of actions. Your Core Self Blueprint™ brings it all together.
-
Fun and Creative
Since the last thing we would do is constrain you with a one-size-fits-all approach, our coaching is a process of ongoing discovery and refinement. We'll explore and experiment with a spirit of childlike curiosity. And probably some laughter.
Are We a Good Fit?
Here's what I know about the clients who amaze themselves, inspire the people around them, and exceed all expectations—even mine.
-
You're open to trying new things
Positive change involves novelty and uncertainty by definition, and those can be uncomfortable. But they're the price of admission to your dream.
-
You can trust a process
You can get new clarity, strategies, habits, and outcomes overnight, or you can have them last, but not both.
-
You're curious
Did you drive your parents crazy asking why the sky is blue, and now you just need to understand why you do (or don't do) things? You're already on the right track.
-
You see yourself as a whole person
Each part of your life affects, and is affected by, all the other parts of your life, so you know it all needs to be considered. Right?
-
You have a sense of humor
Your life may not feel great right now, but if you can unclench enough to laugh at yourself (and me?) sometimes, you'll be letting oxygen in, exactly where it's needed.
What's Divorce Coaching Like?
You're not here to have an off-the-rack life. So, I give you an elite coaching program, with each step fitted to you exactly, and you get one-of-a-kind results.
-
Solid and Proven
You can't bet your post-divorce life on wishful thinking. Whether you're facing down fear in the Survival stage, rediscovering yourself in Recovery, or hopping out of bed each morning to Thrive, you'll be making your own luck with our rational approach.
-
Flexible and Customized
Your primitive survival-based instincts are powerful, and natural. But in order to thrive, you'll need to take into account a very different set of needs, and take a different set of actions. Your Core Self Blueprint™ brings it all together.
-
Fun and Creative
Since the last thing we would do is constrain you with a one-size-fits-all approach, our coaching is a process of ongoing discovery and refinement. We'll explore and experiment with a spirit of childlike curiosity. And probably some laughter.
Are We a Good Fit?
Here's what I know about the clients who amaze themselves, inspire the people around them, and exceed all expectations—even mine.
-
You're open to trying new things
Positive change involves novelty and uncertainty by definition, and those can be uncomfortable. But they're the price of admission to your dream.
-
You can trust a process
You can get new clarity, strategies, habits, and outcomes overnight, or you can have them last, but not both.
-
You're curious
Did you drive your parents crazy asking why the sky is blue, and now you just need to understand why you do (or don't do) things? You're already on the right track.
-
You see yourself as a whole person
Each part of your life affects, and is affected by, all the other parts of your life, so you know it all needs to be considered. Right?
-
You have a sense of humor
Your life may not feel great right now, but if you can unclench enough to laugh at yourself (and me?) sometimes, you'll be letting oxygen in, exactly where it's needed.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you work with men or women?
Yes!
I have extensive experience working with both. While there are certain gender-specific issues that divorcing people contend with, they have much more in common than not, especially among the thoughtful sort of people I work with.
Women often seek support more readily, which is probably the reason that they account for about 2/3 of my divorce coaching clientele historically.
But if you've read this far, you know that each client is one of a kind and, regardless of your gender or the issues you're facing, you'll get an elite, custom coaching program tailored to your unique needs, period.
How long does coaching take?
It depends upon your individual situation, what we're trying to achieve, how intensively we're working together, and how "top of mind" you're keeping our coaching between sessions.
That being said, most people are after deep, comprehensive transformation and growth, and I generally see them for three to six months of intensive work. I continue seeing most of my clients for years, even it it's just for periodic check-ins or "tune-ups."
But there's a bit of a problem with the question. If you're thinking about coaching with me and you're asking yourself this, here's an important shift you can start making right now that will benefit you: try not to think about your goal as a predetermined destination you have in mind.
You'll almost certainly be selling yourself short if you do. Instead, think of your goal as being to allow your unfettered, authentic self to emerge, and get out of its way.
The goal is a process; the outcome will be the best life you're capable of having, if you get the process right!
My role, much like the coach for an elite athlete, is to help you get that process right, and continue refining it, so you can keep redefining the limits of what you thought possible for your life.
Is this therapy?
No. Although I am a licensed psychotherapist, my coaching work is entirely separate, because coaching and therapy are two completely different things.
At the most basic level, divorce coaching does not involve diagnosing or treating mental illness, which is what psychotherapy does.
If you are in need of psychotherapy, or if we find later that it may be useful for you and you'd like to try it, then I can help you find a qualified therapist in your area, if you'd like. Many of my coaching clients also have therapists, and I encourage that. There is no such thing as too much self-care.
Do you provide legal or financial advice?
No, you want an expert for that, just like you want an expert for your coaching.
That being said, leading up to, during, and even after divorce, there is often a great deal of flexibility in the way you approach your negotiations and managing the other aspects of the process, which can dramatically affect your life after divorce for better or worse.
For instance, before important conversations and negotiations, it can be helpful to get clear on needs, desires, boundaries, desired outcomes, and your long-term vision for your relationship with your ex and other parties. Then, we are able to develop a corresponding strategy, including planning, and even practicing, certain influential communication skills.
I've worked with clients to prepare for mediation, trial, important phone calls, and even text messages. This part of coaching isn't meant just to give you an advantage (although it does), but to use every part of your divorce process as fuel for your breakthrough.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you work with men or women?
Yes!
I have extensive experience working with both. While there are certain gender-specific issues that divorcing people contend with, they have much more in common than not, especially among the thoughtful sort of people I work with.
Women often seek support more readily, which is probably the reason that they account for about 2/3 of my divorce coaching clientele historically.
But if you've read this far, you know that each client is one of a kind and, regardless of your gender or the issues you're facing, you'll get an elite, custom coaching program tailored to your unique needs, period.
How long does coaching take?
It depends upon your individual situation, what we're trying to achieve, how intensively we're working together, and how "top of mind" you're keeping our coaching between sessions.
That being said, most people are after deep, comprehensive transformation and growth, and I generally see them for three to six months of intensive work. I continue seeing most of my clients for years, even it it's just for periodic check-ins or "tune-ups."
But there's a bit of a problem with the question. If you're thinking about coaching with me and you're asking yourself this, here's an important shift you can start making right now that will benefit you: try not to think about your goal as a predetermined destination you have in mind.
You'll almost certainly be selling yourself short if you do. Instead, think of your goal as being to allow your unfettered, authentic self to emerge, and get out of its way.
The goal is a process; the outcome will be the best life you're capable of having, if you get the process right!
My role, much like the coach for an elite athlete, is to help you get that process right, and continue refining it, so you can keep redefining the limits of what you thought possible for your life.
Is this therapy?
No. Although I am a licensed psychotherapist, my coaching work is entirely separate, because coaching and therapy are two completely different things.
At the most basic level, divorce coaching does not involve diagnosing or treating mental illness, which is what psychotherapy does.
If you are in need of psychotherapy, or if we find later that it may be useful for you and you'd like to try it, then I can help you find a qualified therapist in your area, if you'd like. Many of my coaching clients also have therapists, and I encourage that. There is no such thing as too much self-care.
Do you provide legal or financial advice?
No, you want an expert for that, just like you want an expert for your coaching.
That being said, leading up to, during, and even after divorce, there is often a great deal of flexibility in the way you approach your negotiations and managing the other aspects of the process, which can dramatically affect your life after divorce for better or worse.
For instance, before important conversations and negotiations, it can be helpful to get clear on needs, desires, boundaries, desired outcomes, and your long-term vision for your relationship with your ex and other parties. Then, we are able to develop a corresponding strategy, including planning, and even practicing, certain influential communication skills.
I've worked with clients to prepare for mediation, trial, important phone calls, and even text messages. This part of coaching isn't meant just to give you an advantage (although it does), but to use every part of your divorce process as fuel for your breakthrough.
© {2013-this year} Jim Hjort, Right Life Project
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